mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
