she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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