i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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