Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
