I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
