Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
The adults are the big ones right?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
