i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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