Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
