The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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