Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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