I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
