she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
