I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
