I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Screwed.edu
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
