I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
