i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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