Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
