we have officially lost it.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
