I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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