Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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