I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I love you.
Bad choice
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
