Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
