Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
