You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
