You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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