So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
