i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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