I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
