Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
