Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
