You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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