Is it normal to miss your booty call?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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