I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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