Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Such a big mess for such a small penis
My feet surprised me
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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