I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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