whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
this is an emotional support booty call
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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