I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
