why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Less talking, more tequila
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
