I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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