i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
