am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
