Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
