..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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