dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
