Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
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MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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