it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
