Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
