What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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