My brain says no but my pants say off.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
