Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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