I showed him my bush... on skype.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
