I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
