You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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