You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
