He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
