I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
