Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
