O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize