So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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